High Top Ranch in Utah was my number one pick for long term therapeutic treatment for Vale because it provides a daily dose of Equine Therapy, a type of therapy known to be helpful for his type of attachment disorder. Chris and I had engaged in Holding Therapy with Vale for eight months with a qualified attachment therapist in Houston making great improvements in some behavioral problems of Vale’s, but his high level of anxiety continued to escalate. Equine therapy had been suggested and recommended by professionals and as I began to explore the combination of Equine Therapy and long term residential treatment, the two seemed to be what Vale needed.
During my research, I found that Equine-Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP) is an experiential approach. This means that a child can learn about themselves and others by participating in activities with the horses, and then processing (or discussing) feelings, behaviors, and patterns. The therapy horses used in the session have the ability to mirror exactly what the human body language is saying in that moment. Horses are honest, which makes them especially powerful messengers. EAP can help address expressing feelings, increasing coping skills, rebuilding self-esteem and decreasing grief symptoms.
EAP provides a metaphoric experience with horses to promote emotional growth and behavioral improvements. This experiential therapy teaches children about themselves, allows recognition of dysfunctional patterns of behavior, and helps define healthier relationships in a child’s community environment. Horses are typically non-judgmental and have no expectations or motives. Therefore, a child can “practice” relationships without the perceived fear of rejection. The horse assists in making a child aware of his emotional state as the horse responds in reaction to their behavior. Through working with the horse, children can gain insight into their feelings, behaviors, patterns, boundaries, and stumbling blocks to healthy relationships. The process is very effective in treating children with anxiety and depression.
EAP may or may not occur in a group setting, and is facilitated by a certified Equine-Assisted Therapist and a trained professional therapist. The process first involves establishing a relationship with a horse and then evolves into the nurturing of that relationship through activities such as grooming and the eventual riding of the horse. Through interaction between the horse and the child, the trained professional asks the child questions based upon what is being revealed through the child’s “relationship” with the horse. The child learns to see himself through the direct response and movement of the horse’s ears, eyes, and body. If the child is anxious or fearful, the horse will react with observable changes in behavior that the child can learn to decipher. The information relayed from the horse will begin to condition the child to observe and reflect on his own feelings so that he can learn to make self adjustments that will bring positive engagement to the child and horse relationship.
Equine Assisted Psychotherapy can help children to work through the pain of traumatic life experiences. Much of the process of EAP is nonverbal, which is especially potent for children who have experienced traumatic events and are not able to express these events fully in words. For many children, developing a relationship with a horse is the first step in re-developing positive relationships within his community. And, this is our hope and prayer for Vale, in that he will discover himself in a new and engaging way that will build new self esteem and the ability to have healthier relationships within his family and community.
Week Two at the Ranch: Since the first three weeks at the ranch will involve no direct contact with Vale, The information I receive about his well being and progress comes from Tad and Justin, who have daily interaction with him. Others I talk to are weekend supervisors and part-time office staff that can help provide additional insight.
Monday morning I received a much needed call from Tad, Vale’s Equine Therapist and social worker , giving me his assessment of Vale’s adjustment to High Top Ranch during his first week. He echoed many of my concerns and observed old behaviors that were playing out in his new environment. He said he would be starting equine therapy with him that day to begin the process of teaching him about his anxiety and learning to recognize its existence.
Tad said the ranch had recently acquired some new ponies that would be perfect for Vale to begin working with. Young horses are even more responsive to human behavior and perfect for mirroring Vale’s anxiety. He would start with teaching him how to rub down the pony’s muscles and watch for its response through its muscles, ears, and eyes. Then he would teach Vale how to clean out the pony’s hooves. Since the pony won’t give him his foot if he doesn’t trust the one who is requesting it, Vale will be able to immediately recognize and understand this direct feedback. He said the process of teaching Vale to read the pony’s feedback may take three weeks.
Other activities that Vale has been enjoying are going to the skating park in the town 30 miles away. The boys take their skateboards and practice their maneuvers during free time they’ve earned. I was told Vale is fitting in and following the rules. He gets homesick in the evening around bedtime, but that is the only down-time they have during the day they have to think about what they are missing from home. He is kept busy with morning chores, school is from 9 to 4 and then more chores are done after school and before dinner. There is no time for electronics such as DS games or TV. They earn the privilege to watch a movie during the week, but most luxuries he experienced at home are not available at the ranch.
He is not eating very well, but this is not a surprise. I struggled most of the last 9 years with getting him to eat quality food. However, he likes school and is doing well. His love for learning has always been a positive attribute and esteem building.
The weekend supervisors will begin taking Vale to the only church in town, the Mormon Church or Latter Day Saints (LDS as they like to be known) and asked me if this would be a problem. I said that it was important to keep him in a regular routine of going to church. However, I have been reading and researching the Mormon religion to understand its teachings and origin so I can talk to Vale about it later. I’ve decided to reserve judgment until I know more about what they believe. Actually, in the long run, attending the Mormon Church is the least of my worries.
After week three at the ranch, I will be able to make and receive phone calls from Vale. In the interim I’ve been sending him cards and letters. If anyone else would like to do the same, let me know and I will make sure your greetings will get to him. Thanks for your prayers and concerns for Vale. He is dearly missed by us and we pray daily for his emotional growth and safety.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Nine years ago this month, I brought a beautiful little boy home to Texas from Braila, Romania. He was fifteen and one-half months old and knew very little English. He could say the words Momma and Kitty, but the only other words he knew were foreign to me because I knew almost no Romanian. In the beginning, his manner was subdued and quiet, but over the next two years he developed the personality of a very happy vivacious young toddler. He quickly learned English and by the age of two he was speaking grammatically correct sentences and full paragraphs of carefully orchestrated communication. He began to correct my husband on his pronunciation of words which we thought to be very amusing. His unusual ability to assimilate the English language was extraordinary and we knew we were to have our hands full with a very bright child. His talents were to become obvious. He began to show a love for music, singing, and language. At the age of three he learned to count to ten in English, Spanish, German, and if I had known French, he would have learned it as well. Those were the times I would dream about my child becoming a successful international businessman, or medical doctor because I knew God had great things planned for this special child.
However, the most unfortunate and unforeseen events happened in our lives in January, 2004. The picture perfect home in upper middle class suburbia where the husband worked a successful ministry and the mother stayed home to care for the newly internationally adopted child came to an abrupt end with the sudden death of my husband, and Valentin’s father. Our lives were uprooted and thrown into chaos for several years before the smoke cleared from the trauma and we came to a peaceful existence in 2008. Little did I know that those years of chaos dug up a sleeping giant in Vale that would take us on a journey of healing that I never thought I would experience…..
Week One at the Ranch: Vale and I flew to Salt Lake City Friday morning and rented a car to drive to Koosharem, Utah located three hours south of the capital. The drive was fairly easy and comfortable as we drove the interstate, but as soon as we exited the main road, we entered a world of winding mountain roads that seem to go forever and lead to nowhere. I called the director several times to ensure I was still headed in the right direction to the ranch. The terrain was dry and dusty, but the landscapes were beautiful and majestic as we drove from valley to mountain top and back down again. The temperature in Koosharem had been 24 degrees Fahreinheit a few days earlier and we had prepared for the lower temps with light jackets.
Vale’s mood was quiet and still all morning. However, as we got closer to the ranch, I sensed greater anxiety building in him. He kept asking if we were almost there and he kept telling me he was hungry even though a few hours earlier had consumed a large lunch. As we climbed higher in elevation, the temperature began to drop outside the car and at 4:30pm Mountain Time we drove down the main street of Koosharem. There was a large lake on the left that was still partially frozen, and snow drifts remained along the foothills that had not yet melted from the last snowfall. It was a sleepy little town with a population of 292. I was told to take the first left after the old gas station, but missed the gas station because I didn’t recognize its 2 pumps as being a gas station. An old man directed me down the road to High Top Ranch, telling me that, “the red building down there was where the kids ate their meals”. I thought that he must know about the ranch and could discern my nervous son in the back seat restless about not knowing much about the next phase of his life he was about to encounter.
I turned down the dirt road to the ranch, passing the eating hall and drove back to the next red building that was the main office. Two gentlemen stood outside on the porch talking and turned to greet me as we were driving into the parking lot. One was the director named Justin, the other was the social worker named Tad. They were both men in their late thirties, with bright eyes and comforting smiles. We got out of the car and they helped us unload Vale’s belongings. We took them up into the office and sat down to talk. They put us both at ease as we chatted about our drive and the look of the ranch. Vale was nervous, but eager to converse. Shortly, the grandmother popped into the room to introduce herself as such and that she had raised 12 children and knew all about raising boys. She seemed kind and Vale warmed up to her quickly. She took Vale to meet the other boys and to show him his new room while I talked to Justin and Tad about relinquishing my 10 year old son to them for an extended period of time. They reassured me they had been doing this for quite some time and understood these boys and the adjustments they would encounter over the next few days, weeks, and months. I told them about Vale’s peculiar habits and they assured me they had seen them in other boys many times over. They had a structured plan in place to help these boys overcome their fears and unusual coping mechanisms. I breathed a heavy sigh, but I had done my research and prayed that God would lead Vale and me to a place that could help him with his struggles. I believed we were in the right place, now I just needed to hand him over to God and these new people to do the work they knew to do.
I took a tour with Justin of the ranch. He was the second generation owner after his father had started it in the late 1950’s with his uncles. The ranch had evolved from being a fun place for city boys to visit for the summer to a therapeutic ranch for troubled boys. High Top was the newest ranch established 12 years earlier for the younger aged boys, 9 to 14 years old. I could tell he was proud of its heritage and he enjoyed his work with the boys and the ranch. After the tour, we met up with Vale and Tad told me to make it short. It was not a good idea to make the break any longer than we had to. Vale started crying and sobbing as I told him I must go. I hugged him and reassured him that he was brave and strong and that he was going to be just fine. I kissed his head and said goodbye as Tad led him to the main bunkhouse. I followed Justin in my car off the ranch and to the next town where I was going to spend the night before beginning my journey to Salt Lake City in the morning for a return flight to Houston.
The next morning after arriving at the Salt Lake airport, I called the ranch to see how Vale was getting along. The weekend supervisor answered and told me he was doing well. Tad was saddling him up to go on a trail ride and Vale was excited about leaving. She said he had a good breakfast and was getting along with the boys. The next day I heard through email that Vale enjoyed the ride, but he was saddle sore. He was taken to the psychiatrist in Provo for evaluation on Monday and apparently she had a good assessment of him. Tad reported to me later that Vale said he was not homesick, which told him he was trying hard to work the program. On Wednesday, the teacher at High Top School tested him to see where he was with fourth grade work. I’m certain he was surprised to find the intellect that he would be working with in Vale over the next year. This concludes his first week at the ranch. I’ll be following up with weekly updates on his progress or as I get them.
However, the most unfortunate and unforeseen events happened in our lives in January, 2004. The picture perfect home in upper middle class suburbia where the husband worked a successful ministry and the mother stayed home to care for the newly internationally adopted child came to an abrupt end with the sudden death of my husband, and Valentin’s father. Our lives were uprooted and thrown into chaos for several years before the smoke cleared from the trauma and we came to a peaceful existence in 2008. Little did I know that those years of chaos dug up a sleeping giant in Vale that would take us on a journey of healing that I never thought I would experience…..
Week One at the Ranch: Vale and I flew to Salt Lake City Friday morning and rented a car to drive to Koosharem, Utah located three hours south of the capital. The drive was fairly easy and comfortable as we drove the interstate, but as soon as we exited the main road, we entered a world of winding mountain roads that seem to go forever and lead to nowhere. I called the director several times to ensure I was still headed in the right direction to the ranch. The terrain was dry and dusty, but the landscapes were beautiful and majestic as we drove from valley to mountain top and back down again. The temperature in Koosharem had been 24 degrees Fahreinheit a few days earlier and we had prepared for the lower temps with light jackets.
Vale’s mood was quiet and still all morning. However, as we got closer to the ranch, I sensed greater anxiety building in him. He kept asking if we were almost there and he kept telling me he was hungry even though a few hours earlier had consumed a large lunch. As we climbed higher in elevation, the temperature began to drop outside the car and at 4:30pm Mountain Time we drove down the main street of Koosharem. There was a large lake on the left that was still partially frozen, and snow drifts remained along the foothills that had not yet melted from the last snowfall. It was a sleepy little town with a population of 292. I was told to take the first left after the old gas station, but missed the gas station because I didn’t recognize its 2 pumps as being a gas station. An old man directed me down the road to High Top Ranch, telling me that, “the red building down there was where the kids ate their meals”. I thought that he must know about the ranch and could discern my nervous son in the back seat restless about not knowing much about the next phase of his life he was about to encounter.
I turned down the dirt road to the ranch, passing the eating hall and drove back to the next red building that was the main office. Two gentlemen stood outside on the porch talking and turned to greet me as we were driving into the parking lot. One was the director named Justin, the other was the social worker named Tad. They were both men in their late thirties, with bright eyes and comforting smiles. We got out of the car and they helped us unload Vale’s belongings. We took them up into the office and sat down to talk. They put us both at ease as we chatted about our drive and the look of the ranch. Vale was nervous, but eager to converse. Shortly, the grandmother popped into the room to introduce herself as such and that she had raised 12 children and knew all about raising boys. She seemed kind and Vale warmed up to her quickly. She took Vale to meet the other boys and to show him his new room while I talked to Justin and Tad about relinquishing my 10 year old son to them for an extended period of time. They reassured me they had been doing this for quite some time and understood these boys and the adjustments they would encounter over the next few days, weeks, and months. I told them about Vale’s peculiar habits and they assured me they had seen them in other boys many times over. They had a structured plan in place to help these boys overcome their fears and unusual coping mechanisms. I breathed a heavy sigh, but I had done my research and prayed that God would lead Vale and me to a place that could help him with his struggles. I believed we were in the right place, now I just needed to hand him over to God and these new people to do the work they knew to do.
I took a tour with Justin of the ranch. He was the second generation owner after his father had started it in the late 1950’s with his uncles. The ranch had evolved from being a fun place for city boys to visit for the summer to a therapeutic ranch for troubled boys. High Top was the newest ranch established 12 years earlier for the younger aged boys, 9 to 14 years old. I could tell he was proud of its heritage and he enjoyed his work with the boys and the ranch. After the tour, we met up with Vale and Tad told me to make it short. It was not a good idea to make the break any longer than we had to. Vale started crying and sobbing as I told him I must go. I hugged him and reassured him that he was brave and strong and that he was going to be just fine. I kissed his head and said goodbye as Tad led him to the main bunkhouse. I followed Justin in my car off the ranch and to the next town where I was going to spend the night before beginning my journey to Salt Lake City in the morning for a return flight to Houston.
The next morning after arriving at the Salt Lake airport, I called the ranch to see how Vale was getting along. The weekend supervisor answered and told me he was doing well. Tad was saddling him up to go on a trail ride and Vale was excited about leaving. She said he had a good breakfast and was getting along with the boys. The next day I heard through email that Vale enjoyed the ride, but he was saddle sore. He was taken to the psychiatrist in Provo for evaluation on Monday and apparently she had a good assessment of him. Tad reported to me later that Vale said he was not homesick, which told him he was trying hard to work the program. On Wednesday, the teacher at High Top School tested him to see where he was with fourth grade work. I’m certain he was surprised to find the intellect that he would be working with in Vale over the next year. This concludes his first week at the ranch. I’ll be following up with weekly updates on his progress or as I get them.
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