Vale is making progress with the Equine Therapy. Tad, his therapist, emailed me today about a recent therapy session involving Vale and two other High Top Ranch Students being asked to calm a two year old Philly. Apparently, She is known to be quite nervous and will run around her corral for sometimes hours before calming herself.
According to Tad, Vale was able to gain success in this exercise because he is learning to get his emotions in check and to confront fears using proper breathing exercises and by taking better control of his negative thought processes. These exercises are difficult to make the therapy effective in an office environment because there is nothing for the student to fear. However, in a corral setting, a horse will bring out the fear mainly due to their large size.
Tad explained that the new picture of Vale petting the Philly represents the first time any student at High Top has been able to pet her for an extended period of time. Getting her to successfully quiet down took the efforts of all three students working together as a team.
Good Job Vale!!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Week Six at High Top Ranch
Proverbs tells us that understanding is to be our intimate friend, and if we take this advice as a personal quest, it becomes obvious that without understanding of what drives our personal behavior in a social environment, our emotional growth is limited. There are times when we feel driven to act out certain destructive behaviors and we do know why, even though we do not want to continue in that behavior. Paul, one of Jesus’ great disciples proclaimed his puzzlement about why he continued to perform some of his own questionable behavior. And, if you ask people who have spent time in prison, they will almost all tell you that it was not their intention to commit the crime and will proclaim that something unknown drove them to do it.
Modern day behavioral psychologists believe that 80% of our behavior is conducted from the hidden depths of our unconscious. Therefore, much of the behavior that we display to others is driven by circumstances, events, and the pain of the early years of our life that may or may not have conscious memories associated. And because there are no memories and no understanding, it becomes a difficult task in changing those destructive behaviors that continue to cause repeated themes of chaos in our lives.
In order to understand the hidden root causes of human behavior, scientists and psychologists have looked to observing other types of God created systems such as behavior in animals and nature. Bible stories from the Old and New Testaments use clever analogies to compare our turbulent human emotions and erratic behaviors to that of blind sheep, stubborn mules, shifting sands, and the highs and lows of waves in the ocean. If God can make our association with similarities in nature, then we can most definitely learn the “whys” about ourselves as we observe how nature reacts and transpires around us.
Jane Goodall, an internationally acclaimed anthropologist who intensely studied animal behavior is the world's foremost authority on chimpanzees. In 1961, she entered the jungles of the Gombe Game Reserve in Africa where she closely observed chimp behavior for more than a quarter of a century. She lived in the chimps' environment and gained their confidence, allowing her to observe their most intimate and personal behaviors. The insight she gained from her close observation and research created a revolutionary inroad to the world’s scientific understanding of human behavior.
One of the first chimps to enter Jane's camp was a chimp she named Flo, an amazingly extraordinary adult female. Flo's charming appeal and vivacious personality kept research interesting not only to the researchers, but to other chimps who, over decades, continued to follow Flo into the researcher’s camp.
Jane documented Flo’s life and the birth of her five known offspring named: Faben, Figan, Fifi, Flint, and Flame. Flo's high rank in her social environment, along with her social assertiveness, positively influenced the social status and position her offspring developed as they grew to adulthood in the jungle environment. Her son, Figan, with the support of his brother Faben, became top-ranking males and her daughter Fifi, went on to become a top-ranking female within their social system.
Flo was a wonderful, supportive, affectionate and playful mother to the first three offspring, but at the age of 50, when she gave birth to Flint, she had begun to show signs of aging and she was not the energetic mother she had once been. However, Flint was a strong willed male that demanded her constant attention. As her strength was diminishing, she found it more difficult to discipline young Flint as she had her other male offspring. And, as her strength decreased, Flint’s strength and demanding nature increased causing an imbalance in the family dynamics. Flint rapidly became a spoiled, demanding young chimp with behavior that was uncordial and uncontrollable for Flo to handle.
When the time came to wean young Flint at the age of five, Flo gave birth to Flame, preventing her from having the necessary strength to break Flint’s suckling bond. However, at the age of six months, Flame died causing Flo much grief. After Flame’s death, Flint became increasingly more abnormally dependent on his old mother. He began to hang on her back and shoulders even when he was too big and heavy. He continued to demand his mother allow him to be coddled and treated like an infant. Due to her lack of emotional and physical strength, she stopped trying to push Flint away to become independent to follow after the males as all other male chimps were doing at his age.
There came a time when Flo became too weak to resist Flint’s angry demands and the stress and strain of his hidden anger proved to be too much for Flo. Three years after Flames’ death, she died when Flint was 8 and ½ years old. Her death angered him and he punched and prodded at her dead body for hours. Because he was unable to cope without his mother, he stopped eating and showed no interest in interacting with other chimps. Flint was showing signs of severe clinical depression. And, within 3 weeks of his mother’s death, Flint's immune system became too weak to keep him alive. He died of starvation and great grief because he did not have the desire to live without his mother’s help.
When Vale came to me in April, 2001, it was evident that he was an overcommer. His existence as an orphan alone in this world made him rely on his own skills and abilities as a very young infant to get his needs met. In the orphanage, controlling cries, and manipulative demands provided him the attention he wanted that would get his needs met with being changed, fed, and held.
All babies cry to get the attention of their parents, but when their cries are met with the loving attention of their mother, who time and time again reinforces to their baby that their needs will be met, a sense of trust sets in for the baby. However, a baby in an orphanage may cry for long periods of time and not get their basic needs met. Their frustration turns into a lack of trust and for strong willed infants, strong manipulative traits of behavior begin to set in that are not replaced with healthy expectation. However, this un-natural strength that is developed centering around the infant’s ability to manipulate and control his environment and the people that are there to care for him. There is no trust, so the infant must develop his own self-parenting skills and ways to get his needs met.
In 2001, I didn’t understand that Vale’s strengths were masked in fear and mistrust of adults. Beginning at 16 months, I regularly gave into his spirited demands and crying fits believing I was filling a need that he had missed as a helpless orphan; a conclusion that most loving mothers would derive(?). However, little did I understand at the time that I was trying to fill a bottomless pit that only fed his fear and unhealthy expectations.
What he needed was love with strict boundaries and I waited too many years to recognize the problem and implement a solution. By the time his father died when Vale was four, I had a little Flint on my hands, but by then I was deep in my grief over the loss of my husband.
Week Six at the Ranch; Learning to become Strong and Independent:
Vale is finding that his current method of coping to get his way with others is not working. Staff members and teachers are all clued into his manipulations for they are trained to recognize the signs, and he is struggling to find his way with those he is depending on for his very survival.
He is learning to fish and care for the ranch. While learning the importance of being responsible for the tasks that he is assigned, he walks ahead of the tractor to pick up big rocks and sticks that might come in the way of the mowers blades.
Each time he tries to manipulate his way out of a task, he is required to give 5 pushups for his infraction. This is said to help build not only physical strength, but emotional and mental strength that will build the confidence and endurance he needs to succeed and endure through life’s trials.
Please pray for Vale to find new strength and new and healthy ways of coping with difficult situations.
Modern day behavioral psychologists believe that 80% of our behavior is conducted from the hidden depths of our unconscious. Therefore, much of the behavior that we display to others is driven by circumstances, events, and the pain of the early years of our life that may or may not have conscious memories associated. And because there are no memories and no understanding, it becomes a difficult task in changing those destructive behaviors that continue to cause repeated themes of chaos in our lives.
In order to understand the hidden root causes of human behavior, scientists and psychologists have looked to observing other types of God created systems such as behavior in animals and nature. Bible stories from the Old and New Testaments use clever analogies to compare our turbulent human emotions and erratic behaviors to that of blind sheep, stubborn mules, shifting sands, and the highs and lows of waves in the ocean. If God can make our association with similarities in nature, then we can most definitely learn the “whys” about ourselves as we observe how nature reacts and transpires around us.
Jane Goodall, an internationally acclaimed anthropologist who intensely studied animal behavior is the world's foremost authority on chimpanzees. In 1961, she entered the jungles of the Gombe Game Reserve in Africa where she closely observed chimp behavior for more than a quarter of a century. She lived in the chimps' environment and gained their confidence, allowing her to observe their most intimate and personal behaviors. The insight she gained from her close observation and research created a revolutionary inroad to the world’s scientific understanding of human behavior.
One of the first chimps to enter Jane's camp was a chimp she named Flo, an amazingly extraordinary adult female. Flo's charming appeal and vivacious personality kept research interesting not only to the researchers, but to other chimps who, over decades, continued to follow Flo into the researcher’s camp.
Jane documented Flo’s life and the birth of her five known offspring named: Faben, Figan, Fifi, Flint, and Flame. Flo's high rank in her social environment, along with her social assertiveness, positively influenced the social status and position her offspring developed as they grew to adulthood in the jungle environment. Her son, Figan, with the support of his brother Faben, became top-ranking males and her daughter Fifi, went on to become a top-ranking female within their social system.
Flo was a wonderful, supportive, affectionate and playful mother to the first three offspring, but at the age of 50, when she gave birth to Flint, she had begun to show signs of aging and she was not the energetic mother she had once been. However, Flint was a strong willed male that demanded her constant attention. As her strength was diminishing, she found it more difficult to discipline young Flint as she had her other male offspring. And, as her strength decreased, Flint’s strength and demanding nature increased causing an imbalance in the family dynamics. Flint rapidly became a spoiled, demanding young chimp with behavior that was uncordial and uncontrollable for Flo to handle.
When the time came to wean young Flint at the age of five, Flo gave birth to Flame, preventing her from having the necessary strength to break Flint’s suckling bond. However, at the age of six months, Flame died causing Flo much grief. After Flame’s death, Flint became increasingly more abnormally dependent on his old mother. He began to hang on her back and shoulders even when he was too big and heavy. He continued to demand his mother allow him to be coddled and treated like an infant. Due to her lack of emotional and physical strength, she stopped trying to push Flint away to become independent to follow after the males as all other male chimps were doing at his age.
There came a time when Flo became too weak to resist Flint’s angry demands and the stress and strain of his hidden anger proved to be too much for Flo. Three years after Flames’ death, she died when Flint was 8 and ½ years old. Her death angered him and he punched and prodded at her dead body for hours. Because he was unable to cope without his mother, he stopped eating and showed no interest in interacting with other chimps. Flint was showing signs of severe clinical depression. And, within 3 weeks of his mother’s death, Flint's immune system became too weak to keep him alive. He died of starvation and great grief because he did not have the desire to live without his mother’s help.
When Vale came to me in April, 2001, it was evident that he was an overcommer. His existence as an orphan alone in this world made him rely on his own skills and abilities as a very young infant to get his needs met. In the orphanage, controlling cries, and manipulative demands provided him the attention he wanted that would get his needs met with being changed, fed, and held.
All babies cry to get the attention of their parents, but when their cries are met with the loving attention of their mother, who time and time again reinforces to their baby that their needs will be met, a sense of trust sets in for the baby. However, a baby in an orphanage may cry for long periods of time and not get their basic needs met. Their frustration turns into a lack of trust and for strong willed infants, strong manipulative traits of behavior begin to set in that are not replaced with healthy expectation. However, this un-natural strength that is developed centering around the infant’s ability to manipulate and control his environment and the people that are there to care for him. There is no trust, so the infant must develop his own self-parenting skills and ways to get his needs met.
In 2001, I didn’t understand that Vale’s strengths were masked in fear and mistrust of adults. Beginning at 16 months, I regularly gave into his spirited demands and crying fits believing I was filling a need that he had missed as a helpless orphan; a conclusion that most loving mothers would derive(?). However, little did I understand at the time that I was trying to fill a bottomless pit that only fed his fear and unhealthy expectations.
What he needed was love with strict boundaries and I waited too many years to recognize the problem and implement a solution. By the time his father died when Vale was four, I had a little Flint on my hands, but by then I was deep in my grief over the loss of my husband.
Week Six at the Ranch; Learning to become Strong and Independent:
Vale is finding that his current method of coping to get his way with others is not working. Staff members and teachers are all clued into his manipulations for they are trained to recognize the signs, and he is struggling to find his way with those he is depending on for his very survival.
He is learning to fish and care for the ranch. While learning the importance of being responsible for the tasks that he is assigned, he walks ahead of the tractor to pick up big rocks and sticks that might come in the way of the mowers blades.
Each time he tries to manipulate his way out of a task, he is required to give 5 pushups for his infraction. This is said to help build not only physical strength, but emotional and mental strength that will build the confidence and endurance he needs to succeed and endure through life’s trials.
Please pray for Vale to find new strength and new and healthy ways of coping with difficult situations.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Week Three at the Ranch
I remember my first Mother’s Day with Vale in May, 2001. He was 17 months old and had been in the US for only a few weeks. Since we barely knew each other, there were so many new adjustments for the two of us. He clung to my neck like a scared little baby monkey refusing to let me out of his sight. Plastic table ware was a novelty for Vale. He called his juice cup, “appa”, the Romanian word for “water”, and downed several gallons of apple juice each week. He also insisted he sleep with his novelty cup and “appa” instead of a cuddly stuffed animal. I weaned him from his Romanian babysitter, American Music TV, to Christian children’s videos and music from which he immediately loved and learned to speak English.
In those early days, Vale watched me put on my makeup each morning and mimicked my actions by dabbing a powder puff on his cheeks. He was thrilled to help me select my ear rings and other jewelry I should wear for the day. He enjoyed brushing my hair,always being eager to please.
I’ll never forget that first week of summer during one of our trips to Randalls when he proudly confessed to the grocery store cashier that I was his Mommy! He was proud of his new mother and I was very proud to have such a spectacular son! We were meant for each other and it was obvious to everyone in our world that he was a very special child that had been given a second chance at life. If he had remained in Romania much longer, his fate would have been sealed to remain forever an orphan. It was just 2 weeks after we arrived home from Romania, their government began to announce their impending decision to discontinue all international adoptions. They wanted to improve their economic trade situation with Europe and the European Union did not favor the fact that Romania could not take care of its orphans. To this day, Romania remains closed to international adoptions.
Week three at the Ranch: On Monday, I called Justin to find out about Vale’s weekend. He said he had not been at the ranch over the weekend and he would find out some information and get back with me. Within two hours, he was calling me to let me know he had spent time with Vale during lunch. When Vale was told I was asking about him, his eye’s teared and he said that he missed his mother and home very much. Justin reported that Vale was looking forward to our first phone call on Friday and further explained that many of the boys at the ranch are so disconnected from their feelings and have such severe attachment disorders that they are not eager to re-connect with home and many of them show few signs of being homesick. He reassured me that Vale had a great desire to talk to me and re-connect after three weeks of being separated.
On Tuesday, Tad emailed me pictures of Vale on one of the High Top ponies being prepared to be ridden by students. Seeing Vale sitting on the horse with a big smile was a terrific encouragement to me. I could see that he is doing well.
Friday evening I received a call from Vale’s new case manager, named Dave. He is assigned to Vale to ensure his immediate needs are properly addressed. He reminds Vale to brush his teeth, put on his jacket when it is cold, and takes special interest in his general well being. He told me that he has enjoyed getting to know Vale. He said Vale is respectful to him and has a big heart. Dave mentioned the daily chore Vale has been assigned is vacuuming. He won’t be able to progress to more popular chores like feeding the animals until he has mastered the art of vacuuming and so far he has been working at it for three weeks.
When Vale got on the other end of the phone, I could tell he was choking back the tears. He said he missed us and wanted to come home. He told us there were 3 incidents of earthquake tremors over the last weeks. However, several weeks ago, I noticed on a web page of Koosharem’s history that earthquakes rating a 4.0 are common for the area.
He wanted me to remind him of why he is at the ranch. I don’t think he is quite certain as to the reason, but the longer he is there, the more apparent it will become to him. He told me they cut his hair short and complained that his school wasn’t like Stanley. He requested more books because he said he has read all the ones I initially sent him and asked that I would write more letters to him. I reminded him to read his daily Bible devotion and he said he would do it during free time since they were not allowed to read in bed before going to sleep.
It was good to hear directly from him and from now on, as long as he doesn’t have any infractions for the week, he will be able to call home on Friday evenings. We are excited to see how he will continue to engage in the program and learn from his time at the ranch. So far, so good!
In those early days, Vale watched me put on my makeup each morning and mimicked my actions by dabbing a powder puff on his cheeks. He was thrilled to help me select my ear rings and other jewelry I should wear for the day. He enjoyed brushing my hair,always being eager to please.
I’ll never forget that first week of summer during one of our trips to Randalls when he proudly confessed to the grocery store cashier that I was his Mommy! He was proud of his new mother and I was very proud to have such a spectacular son! We were meant for each other and it was obvious to everyone in our world that he was a very special child that had been given a second chance at life. If he had remained in Romania much longer, his fate would have been sealed to remain forever an orphan. It was just 2 weeks after we arrived home from Romania, their government began to announce their impending decision to discontinue all international adoptions. They wanted to improve their economic trade situation with Europe and the European Union did not favor the fact that Romania could not take care of its orphans. To this day, Romania remains closed to international adoptions.
Week three at the Ranch: On Monday, I called Justin to find out about Vale’s weekend. He said he had not been at the ranch over the weekend and he would find out some information and get back with me. Within two hours, he was calling me to let me know he had spent time with Vale during lunch. When Vale was told I was asking about him, his eye’s teared and he said that he missed his mother and home very much. Justin reported that Vale was looking forward to our first phone call on Friday and further explained that many of the boys at the ranch are so disconnected from their feelings and have such severe attachment disorders that they are not eager to re-connect with home and many of them show few signs of being homesick. He reassured me that Vale had a great desire to talk to me and re-connect after three weeks of being separated.
On Tuesday, Tad emailed me pictures of Vale on one of the High Top ponies being prepared to be ridden by students. Seeing Vale sitting on the horse with a big smile was a terrific encouragement to me. I could see that he is doing well.
Friday evening I received a call from Vale’s new case manager, named Dave. He is assigned to Vale to ensure his immediate needs are properly addressed. He reminds Vale to brush his teeth, put on his jacket when it is cold, and takes special interest in his general well being. He told me that he has enjoyed getting to know Vale. He said Vale is respectful to him and has a big heart. Dave mentioned the daily chore Vale has been assigned is vacuuming. He won’t be able to progress to more popular chores like feeding the animals until he has mastered the art of vacuuming and so far he has been working at it for three weeks.
When Vale got on the other end of the phone, I could tell he was choking back the tears. He said he missed us and wanted to come home. He told us there were 3 incidents of earthquake tremors over the last weeks. However, several weeks ago, I noticed on a web page of Koosharem’s history that earthquakes rating a 4.0 are common for the area.
He wanted me to remind him of why he is at the ranch. I don’t think he is quite certain as to the reason, but the longer he is there, the more apparent it will become to him. He told me they cut his hair short and complained that his school wasn’t like Stanley. He requested more books because he said he has read all the ones I initially sent him and asked that I would write more letters to him. I reminded him to read his daily Bible devotion and he said he would do it during free time since they were not allowed to read in bed before going to sleep.
It was good to hear directly from him and from now on, as long as he doesn’t have any infractions for the week, he will be able to call home on Friday evenings. We are excited to see how he will continue to engage in the program and learn from his time at the ranch. So far, so good!
Friday, April 30, 2010
Week Two at the Ranch
High Top Ranch in Utah was my number one pick for long term therapeutic treatment for Vale because it provides a daily dose of Equine Therapy, a type of therapy known to be helpful for his type of attachment disorder. Chris and I had engaged in Holding Therapy with Vale for eight months with a qualified attachment therapist in Houston making great improvements in some behavioral problems of Vale’s, but his high level of anxiety continued to escalate. Equine therapy had been suggested and recommended by professionals and as I began to explore the combination of Equine Therapy and long term residential treatment, the two seemed to be what Vale needed.
During my research, I found that Equine-Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP) is an experiential approach. This means that a child can learn about themselves and others by participating in activities with the horses, and then processing (or discussing) feelings, behaviors, and patterns. The therapy horses used in the session have the ability to mirror exactly what the human body language is saying in that moment. Horses are honest, which makes them especially powerful messengers. EAP can help address expressing feelings, increasing coping skills, rebuilding self-esteem and decreasing grief symptoms.
EAP provides a metaphoric experience with horses to promote emotional growth and behavioral improvements. This experiential therapy teaches children about themselves, allows recognition of dysfunctional patterns of behavior, and helps define healthier relationships in a child’s community environment. Horses are typically non-judgmental and have no expectations or motives. Therefore, a child can “practice” relationships without the perceived fear of rejection. The horse assists in making a child aware of his emotional state as the horse responds in reaction to their behavior. Through working with the horse, children can gain insight into their feelings, behaviors, patterns, boundaries, and stumbling blocks to healthy relationships. The process is very effective in treating children with anxiety and depression.
EAP may or may not occur in a group setting, and is facilitated by a certified Equine-Assisted Therapist and a trained professional therapist. The process first involves establishing a relationship with a horse and then evolves into the nurturing of that relationship through activities such as grooming and the eventual riding of the horse. Through interaction between the horse and the child, the trained professional asks the child questions based upon what is being revealed through the child’s “relationship” with the horse. The child learns to see himself through the direct response and movement of the horse’s ears, eyes, and body. If the child is anxious or fearful, the horse will react with observable changes in behavior that the child can learn to decipher. The information relayed from the horse will begin to condition the child to observe and reflect on his own feelings so that he can learn to make self adjustments that will bring positive engagement to the child and horse relationship.
Equine Assisted Psychotherapy can help children to work through the pain of traumatic life experiences. Much of the process of EAP is nonverbal, which is especially potent for children who have experienced traumatic events and are not able to express these events fully in words. For many children, developing a relationship with a horse is the first step in re-developing positive relationships within his community. And, this is our hope and prayer for Vale, in that he will discover himself in a new and engaging way that will build new self esteem and the ability to have healthier relationships within his family and community.
Week Two at the Ranch: Since the first three weeks at the ranch will involve no direct contact with Vale, The information I receive about his well being and progress comes from Tad and Justin, who have daily interaction with him. Others I talk to are weekend supervisors and part-time office staff that can help provide additional insight.
Monday morning I received a much needed call from Tad, Vale’s Equine Therapist and social worker , giving me his assessment of Vale’s adjustment to High Top Ranch during his first week. He echoed many of my concerns and observed old behaviors that were playing out in his new environment. He said he would be starting equine therapy with him that day to begin the process of teaching him about his anxiety and learning to recognize its existence.
Tad said the ranch had recently acquired some new ponies that would be perfect for Vale to begin working with. Young horses are even more responsive to human behavior and perfect for mirroring Vale’s anxiety. He would start with teaching him how to rub down the pony’s muscles and watch for its response through its muscles, ears, and eyes. Then he would teach Vale how to clean out the pony’s hooves. Since the pony won’t give him his foot if he doesn’t trust the one who is requesting it, Vale will be able to immediately recognize and understand this direct feedback. He said the process of teaching Vale to read the pony’s feedback may take three weeks.
Other activities that Vale has been enjoying are going to the skating park in the town 30 miles away. The boys take their skateboards and practice their maneuvers during free time they’ve earned. I was told Vale is fitting in and following the rules. He gets homesick in the evening around bedtime, but that is the only down-time they have during the day they have to think about what they are missing from home. He is kept busy with morning chores, school is from 9 to 4 and then more chores are done after school and before dinner. There is no time for electronics such as DS games or TV. They earn the privilege to watch a movie during the week, but most luxuries he experienced at home are not available at the ranch.
He is not eating very well, but this is not a surprise. I struggled most of the last 9 years with getting him to eat quality food. However, he likes school and is doing well. His love for learning has always been a positive attribute and esteem building.
The weekend supervisors will begin taking Vale to the only church in town, the Mormon Church or Latter Day Saints (LDS as they like to be known) and asked me if this would be a problem. I said that it was important to keep him in a regular routine of going to church. However, I have been reading and researching the Mormon religion to understand its teachings and origin so I can talk to Vale about it later. I’ve decided to reserve judgment until I know more about what they believe. Actually, in the long run, attending the Mormon Church is the least of my worries.
After week three at the ranch, I will be able to make and receive phone calls from Vale. In the interim I’ve been sending him cards and letters. If anyone else would like to do the same, let me know and I will make sure your greetings will get to him. Thanks for your prayers and concerns for Vale. He is dearly missed by us and we pray daily for his emotional growth and safety.
During my research, I found that Equine-Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP) is an experiential approach. This means that a child can learn about themselves and others by participating in activities with the horses, and then processing (or discussing) feelings, behaviors, and patterns. The therapy horses used in the session have the ability to mirror exactly what the human body language is saying in that moment. Horses are honest, which makes them especially powerful messengers. EAP can help address expressing feelings, increasing coping skills, rebuilding self-esteem and decreasing grief symptoms.
EAP provides a metaphoric experience with horses to promote emotional growth and behavioral improvements. This experiential therapy teaches children about themselves, allows recognition of dysfunctional patterns of behavior, and helps define healthier relationships in a child’s community environment. Horses are typically non-judgmental and have no expectations or motives. Therefore, a child can “practice” relationships without the perceived fear of rejection. The horse assists in making a child aware of his emotional state as the horse responds in reaction to their behavior. Through working with the horse, children can gain insight into their feelings, behaviors, patterns, boundaries, and stumbling blocks to healthy relationships. The process is very effective in treating children with anxiety and depression.
EAP may or may not occur in a group setting, and is facilitated by a certified Equine-Assisted Therapist and a trained professional therapist. The process first involves establishing a relationship with a horse and then evolves into the nurturing of that relationship through activities such as grooming and the eventual riding of the horse. Through interaction between the horse and the child, the trained professional asks the child questions based upon what is being revealed through the child’s “relationship” with the horse. The child learns to see himself through the direct response and movement of the horse’s ears, eyes, and body. If the child is anxious or fearful, the horse will react with observable changes in behavior that the child can learn to decipher. The information relayed from the horse will begin to condition the child to observe and reflect on his own feelings so that he can learn to make self adjustments that will bring positive engagement to the child and horse relationship.
Equine Assisted Psychotherapy can help children to work through the pain of traumatic life experiences. Much of the process of EAP is nonverbal, which is especially potent for children who have experienced traumatic events and are not able to express these events fully in words. For many children, developing a relationship with a horse is the first step in re-developing positive relationships within his community. And, this is our hope and prayer for Vale, in that he will discover himself in a new and engaging way that will build new self esteem and the ability to have healthier relationships within his family and community.
Week Two at the Ranch: Since the first three weeks at the ranch will involve no direct contact with Vale, The information I receive about his well being and progress comes from Tad and Justin, who have daily interaction with him. Others I talk to are weekend supervisors and part-time office staff that can help provide additional insight.
Monday morning I received a much needed call from Tad, Vale’s Equine Therapist and social worker , giving me his assessment of Vale’s adjustment to High Top Ranch during his first week. He echoed many of my concerns and observed old behaviors that were playing out in his new environment. He said he would be starting equine therapy with him that day to begin the process of teaching him about his anxiety and learning to recognize its existence.
Tad said the ranch had recently acquired some new ponies that would be perfect for Vale to begin working with. Young horses are even more responsive to human behavior and perfect for mirroring Vale’s anxiety. He would start with teaching him how to rub down the pony’s muscles and watch for its response through its muscles, ears, and eyes. Then he would teach Vale how to clean out the pony’s hooves. Since the pony won’t give him his foot if he doesn’t trust the one who is requesting it, Vale will be able to immediately recognize and understand this direct feedback. He said the process of teaching Vale to read the pony’s feedback may take three weeks.
Other activities that Vale has been enjoying are going to the skating park in the town 30 miles away. The boys take their skateboards and practice their maneuvers during free time they’ve earned. I was told Vale is fitting in and following the rules. He gets homesick in the evening around bedtime, but that is the only down-time they have during the day they have to think about what they are missing from home. He is kept busy with morning chores, school is from 9 to 4 and then more chores are done after school and before dinner. There is no time for electronics such as DS games or TV. They earn the privilege to watch a movie during the week, but most luxuries he experienced at home are not available at the ranch.
He is not eating very well, but this is not a surprise. I struggled most of the last 9 years with getting him to eat quality food. However, he likes school and is doing well. His love for learning has always been a positive attribute and esteem building.
The weekend supervisors will begin taking Vale to the only church in town, the Mormon Church or Latter Day Saints (LDS as they like to be known) and asked me if this would be a problem. I said that it was important to keep him in a regular routine of going to church. However, I have been reading and researching the Mormon religion to understand its teachings and origin so I can talk to Vale about it later. I’ve decided to reserve judgment until I know more about what they believe. Actually, in the long run, attending the Mormon Church is the least of my worries.
After week three at the ranch, I will be able to make and receive phone calls from Vale. In the interim I’ve been sending him cards and letters. If anyone else would like to do the same, let me know and I will make sure your greetings will get to him. Thanks for your prayers and concerns for Vale. He is dearly missed by us and we pray daily for his emotional growth and safety.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Nine years ago this month, I brought a beautiful little boy home to Texas from Braila, Romania. He was fifteen and one-half months old and knew very little English. He could say the words Momma and Kitty, but the only other words he knew were foreign to me because I knew almost no Romanian. In the beginning, his manner was subdued and quiet, but over the next two years he developed the personality of a very happy vivacious young toddler. He quickly learned English and by the age of two he was speaking grammatically correct sentences and full paragraphs of carefully orchestrated communication. He began to correct my husband on his pronunciation of words which we thought to be very amusing. His unusual ability to assimilate the English language was extraordinary and we knew we were to have our hands full with a very bright child. His talents were to become obvious. He began to show a love for music, singing, and language. At the age of three he learned to count to ten in English, Spanish, German, and if I had known French, he would have learned it as well. Those were the times I would dream about my child becoming a successful international businessman, or medical doctor because I knew God had great things planned for this special child.
However, the most unfortunate and unforeseen events happened in our lives in January, 2004. The picture perfect home in upper middle class suburbia where the husband worked a successful ministry and the mother stayed home to care for the newly internationally adopted child came to an abrupt end with the sudden death of my husband, and Valentin’s father. Our lives were uprooted and thrown into chaos for several years before the smoke cleared from the trauma and we came to a peaceful existence in 2008. Little did I know that those years of chaos dug up a sleeping giant in Vale that would take us on a journey of healing that I never thought I would experience…..
Week One at the Ranch: Vale and I flew to Salt Lake City Friday morning and rented a car to drive to Koosharem, Utah located three hours south of the capital. The drive was fairly easy and comfortable as we drove the interstate, but as soon as we exited the main road, we entered a world of winding mountain roads that seem to go forever and lead to nowhere. I called the director several times to ensure I was still headed in the right direction to the ranch. The terrain was dry and dusty, but the landscapes were beautiful and majestic as we drove from valley to mountain top and back down again. The temperature in Koosharem had been 24 degrees Fahreinheit a few days earlier and we had prepared for the lower temps with light jackets.
Vale’s mood was quiet and still all morning. However, as we got closer to the ranch, I sensed greater anxiety building in him. He kept asking if we were almost there and he kept telling me he was hungry even though a few hours earlier had consumed a large lunch. As we climbed higher in elevation, the temperature began to drop outside the car and at 4:30pm Mountain Time we drove down the main street of Koosharem. There was a large lake on the left that was still partially frozen, and snow drifts remained along the foothills that had not yet melted from the last snowfall. It was a sleepy little town with a population of 292. I was told to take the first left after the old gas station, but missed the gas station because I didn’t recognize its 2 pumps as being a gas station. An old man directed me down the road to High Top Ranch, telling me that, “the red building down there was where the kids ate their meals”. I thought that he must know about the ranch and could discern my nervous son in the back seat restless about not knowing much about the next phase of his life he was about to encounter.
I turned down the dirt road to the ranch, passing the eating hall and drove back to the next red building that was the main office. Two gentlemen stood outside on the porch talking and turned to greet me as we were driving into the parking lot. One was the director named Justin, the other was the social worker named Tad. They were both men in their late thirties, with bright eyes and comforting smiles. We got out of the car and they helped us unload Vale’s belongings. We took them up into the office and sat down to talk. They put us both at ease as we chatted about our drive and the look of the ranch. Vale was nervous, but eager to converse. Shortly, the grandmother popped into the room to introduce herself as such and that she had raised 12 children and knew all about raising boys. She seemed kind and Vale warmed up to her quickly. She took Vale to meet the other boys and to show him his new room while I talked to Justin and Tad about relinquishing my 10 year old son to them for an extended period of time. They reassured me they had been doing this for quite some time and understood these boys and the adjustments they would encounter over the next few days, weeks, and months. I told them about Vale’s peculiar habits and they assured me they had seen them in other boys many times over. They had a structured plan in place to help these boys overcome their fears and unusual coping mechanisms. I breathed a heavy sigh, but I had done my research and prayed that God would lead Vale and me to a place that could help him with his struggles. I believed we were in the right place, now I just needed to hand him over to God and these new people to do the work they knew to do.
I took a tour with Justin of the ranch. He was the second generation owner after his father had started it in the late 1950’s with his uncles. The ranch had evolved from being a fun place for city boys to visit for the summer to a therapeutic ranch for troubled boys. High Top was the newest ranch established 12 years earlier for the younger aged boys, 9 to 14 years old. I could tell he was proud of its heritage and he enjoyed his work with the boys and the ranch. After the tour, we met up with Vale and Tad told me to make it short. It was not a good idea to make the break any longer than we had to. Vale started crying and sobbing as I told him I must go. I hugged him and reassured him that he was brave and strong and that he was going to be just fine. I kissed his head and said goodbye as Tad led him to the main bunkhouse. I followed Justin in my car off the ranch and to the next town where I was going to spend the night before beginning my journey to Salt Lake City in the morning for a return flight to Houston.
The next morning after arriving at the Salt Lake airport, I called the ranch to see how Vale was getting along. The weekend supervisor answered and told me he was doing well. Tad was saddling him up to go on a trail ride and Vale was excited about leaving. She said he had a good breakfast and was getting along with the boys. The next day I heard through email that Vale enjoyed the ride, but he was saddle sore. He was taken to the psychiatrist in Provo for evaluation on Monday and apparently she had a good assessment of him. Tad reported to me later that Vale said he was not homesick, which told him he was trying hard to work the program. On Wednesday, the teacher at High Top School tested him to see where he was with fourth grade work. I’m certain he was surprised to find the intellect that he would be working with in Vale over the next year. This concludes his first week at the ranch. I’ll be following up with weekly updates on his progress or as I get them.
However, the most unfortunate and unforeseen events happened in our lives in January, 2004. The picture perfect home in upper middle class suburbia where the husband worked a successful ministry and the mother stayed home to care for the newly internationally adopted child came to an abrupt end with the sudden death of my husband, and Valentin’s father. Our lives were uprooted and thrown into chaos for several years before the smoke cleared from the trauma and we came to a peaceful existence in 2008. Little did I know that those years of chaos dug up a sleeping giant in Vale that would take us on a journey of healing that I never thought I would experience…..
Week One at the Ranch: Vale and I flew to Salt Lake City Friday morning and rented a car to drive to Koosharem, Utah located three hours south of the capital. The drive was fairly easy and comfortable as we drove the interstate, but as soon as we exited the main road, we entered a world of winding mountain roads that seem to go forever and lead to nowhere. I called the director several times to ensure I was still headed in the right direction to the ranch. The terrain was dry and dusty, but the landscapes were beautiful and majestic as we drove from valley to mountain top and back down again. The temperature in Koosharem had been 24 degrees Fahreinheit a few days earlier and we had prepared for the lower temps with light jackets.
Vale’s mood was quiet and still all morning. However, as we got closer to the ranch, I sensed greater anxiety building in him. He kept asking if we were almost there and he kept telling me he was hungry even though a few hours earlier had consumed a large lunch. As we climbed higher in elevation, the temperature began to drop outside the car and at 4:30pm Mountain Time we drove down the main street of Koosharem. There was a large lake on the left that was still partially frozen, and snow drifts remained along the foothills that had not yet melted from the last snowfall. It was a sleepy little town with a population of 292. I was told to take the first left after the old gas station, but missed the gas station because I didn’t recognize its 2 pumps as being a gas station. An old man directed me down the road to High Top Ranch, telling me that, “the red building down there was where the kids ate their meals”. I thought that he must know about the ranch and could discern my nervous son in the back seat restless about not knowing much about the next phase of his life he was about to encounter.
I turned down the dirt road to the ranch, passing the eating hall and drove back to the next red building that was the main office. Two gentlemen stood outside on the porch talking and turned to greet me as we were driving into the parking lot. One was the director named Justin, the other was the social worker named Tad. They were both men in their late thirties, with bright eyes and comforting smiles. We got out of the car and they helped us unload Vale’s belongings. We took them up into the office and sat down to talk. They put us both at ease as we chatted about our drive and the look of the ranch. Vale was nervous, but eager to converse. Shortly, the grandmother popped into the room to introduce herself as such and that she had raised 12 children and knew all about raising boys. She seemed kind and Vale warmed up to her quickly. She took Vale to meet the other boys and to show him his new room while I talked to Justin and Tad about relinquishing my 10 year old son to them for an extended period of time. They reassured me they had been doing this for quite some time and understood these boys and the adjustments they would encounter over the next few days, weeks, and months. I told them about Vale’s peculiar habits and they assured me they had seen them in other boys many times over. They had a structured plan in place to help these boys overcome their fears and unusual coping mechanisms. I breathed a heavy sigh, but I had done my research and prayed that God would lead Vale and me to a place that could help him with his struggles. I believed we were in the right place, now I just needed to hand him over to God and these new people to do the work they knew to do.
I took a tour with Justin of the ranch. He was the second generation owner after his father had started it in the late 1950’s with his uncles. The ranch had evolved from being a fun place for city boys to visit for the summer to a therapeutic ranch for troubled boys. High Top was the newest ranch established 12 years earlier for the younger aged boys, 9 to 14 years old. I could tell he was proud of its heritage and he enjoyed his work with the boys and the ranch. After the tour, we met up with Vale and Tad told me to make it short. It was not a good idea to make the break any longer than we had to. Vale started crying and sobbing as I told him I must go. I hugged him and reassured him that he was brave and strong and that he was going to be just fine. I kissed his head and said goodbye as Tad led him to the main bunkhouse. I followed Justin in my car off the ranch and to the next town where I was going to spend the night before beginning my journey to Salt Lake City in the morning for a return flight to Houston.
The next morning after arriving at the Salt Lake airport, I called the ranch to see how Vale was getting along. The weekend supervisor answered and told me he was doing well. Tad was saddling him up to go on a trail ride and Vale was excited about leaving. She said he had a good breakfast and was getting along with the boys. The next day I heard through email that Vale enjoyed the ride, but he was saddle sore. He was taken to the psychiatrist in Provo for evaluation on Monday and apparently she had a good assessment of him. Tad reported to me later that Vale said he was not homesick, which told him he was trying hard to work the program. On Wednesday, the teacher at High Top School tested him to see where he was with fourth grade work. I’m certain he was surprised to find the intellect that he would be working with in Vale over the next year. This concludes his first week at the ranch. I’ll be following up with weekly updates on his progress or as I get them.
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